the love clock
I believe love happens in three ways
#1 - The Early Birds
Many people I know, found their love early on in life. Most such couples, my batch mates from school/college are even married to their teenage lovers.
The early bird lovers - I envy and admire them at the same time. Even the ones who aren't married, perhaps are only legally unmarried ;-)
#2 - Love at first sight
My first true love was a case of love at first sight. It lasted all of two months. Took me about 3 years to get over it. It's not happened since. And I doubt it will ever again.
# 3 - The thinking love
Growing up is a hard thing - especially in matters of love. As one grows older, one's self-identity strengthens. One's habits are formed. Busy schedules. More responsibilities. Need for personal space. Life seems more demanding.
One yearns for love. But it seems harder. Elusive. Takes so much effort.
Every potential relationship is scrutinized under a microscope.
'What if's' work over-time in the mind. Soon, the mind plays games and one starts believing that the what-if's are turning into reality. More often than not, one doesn't give the relationship a fair chance to bloom and soon, it ends. "We're on different wavelengths" is the common grouse.
Too cautious? Too afraid of giving someone the power to hurt oneself, again?
Or a case of too many expectations?
After nearly two years, I started dating again this year.
Saying "I love you" once came naturally and with all my heart. Now, those words are substituted by "I adore you" or "I'm fond of you".
Do I now have a 24 point checklist which needs to be met?
Or worse still, no checklist, yet a reason to find fault in every budding flower!
The thinking love.
A friend of mine says true love should be effortless.
I suppose that's only when it's case #1 or #2.
However, I don't fall under those two cases anymore.
Love won't just happen. I must do something to make it happen.
For I am a thinking guy.
#1 - The Early Birds
Many people I know, found their love early on in life. Most such couples, my batch mates from school/college are even married to their teenage lovers.
The early bird lovers - I envy and admire them at the same time. Even the ones who aren't married, perhaps are only legally unmarried ;-)
#2 - Love at first sight
My first true love was a case of love at first sight. It lasted all of two months. Took me about 3 years to get over it. It's not happened since. And I doubt it will ever again.
# 3 - The thinking love
Growing up is a hard thing - especially in matters of love. As one grows older, one's self-identity strengthens. One's habits are formed. Busy schedules. More responsibilities. Need for personal space. Life seems more demanding.
One yearns for love. But it seems harder. Elusive. Takes so much effort.
Every potential relationship is scrutinized under a microscope.
'What if's' work over-time in the mind. Soon, the mind plays games and one starts believing that the what-if's are turning into reality. More often than not, one doesn't give the relationship a fair chance to bloom and soon, it ends. "We're on different wavelengths" is the common grouse.
Too cautious? Too afraid of giving someone the power to hurt oneself, again?
Or a case of too many expectations?
After nearly two years, I started dating again this year.
Saying "I love you" once came naturally and with all my heart. Now, those words are substituted by "I adore you" or "I'm fond of you".
Do I now have a 24 point checklist which needs to be met?
Or worse still, no checklist, yet a reason to find fault in every budding flower!
The thinking love.
A friend of mine says true love should be effortless.
I suppose that's only when it's case #1 or #2.
However, I don't fall under those two cases anymore.
Love won't just happen. I must do something to make it happen.
For I am a thinking guy.
posted by /~/ at Wednesday, August 16, 2006
4 Comments:
I’m hardly an expert on the subject, but cant help sharing my views on your views on love J
I think I know what you mean when you say growing up changes everything. Including our perspectives and our approach to love. I understand and recognize that cynical tone. I’ve been there myself. I go there every now and then myself.
But I think it’s ridiculous to write off love. It’ll happen. It may not be perfect (what is!) but it’ll probably happen. And who says love needs to be all mushy and comforting. Love is often unsettling and disturbing. And that’s okay, you know. As long as you know it’s love.
Enough bullshit. Let’s talk some sense, shall we…
I love that you say, ‘love won’t happen. I must do something to make it happen.’ Nothing could be closer to the truth. Love doesn’t just come and hit us in the face. You gotta make it happen.
What efforts have you made yet? How much closer are you to finding your love?
And don’t believe in this ‘true love’ bullshit. That’s just the rubbish they tell you in those soppy bollywood movies.
True love is the love that has the potential to last. Not last lifetimes and centuries. Just the ups and downs in one’s life when one’s together. A happy relationship that ends cordially is true love too. True love while it lasted.
I can safely say – going by those very standards – I probably haven’t enjoyed true love yet. But it’s coming. You have to keep the faith.
So when are we doing that dvd date? Give me a list of your top five movies. Your top five books. Your top five memories.
"A happy relationship that ends cordially is true love too"
hmmm.. i don't know about the 'ends cordially' bit.
Dvd date... what say, next week sometime?
This comment has been removed by the author.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Post a Comment
<< Home